my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
