best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
