I will die if light touches me.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
