i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
