he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
