Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
