I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
