I wanna bring you to show and tell
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
