On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He passed out mid-signature
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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