I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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