I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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