watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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