I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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