There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
