Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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