yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
