For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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