Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
