also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
