please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Randomize
