Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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