next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
