Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm like, not good at living.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
