at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I believe in your delicious
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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