i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
