Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
