i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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