I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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