Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
