im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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