I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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