dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
