It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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