I wish I could teleport
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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