TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
