i dont even know how to be here
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
