i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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