a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize