i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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