i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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