U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize