dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
