his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
