remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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