i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
