ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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