she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
