I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
