Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
