see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ketchup is God's man juice
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
