3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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