Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she looked like the before picture.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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