yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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