it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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